The satisfaction of overcoming the inevitable is truly amazing.
To actually feel this feeling and it's here is incredible.
I always wondered what it would be like,
Then you showed up and contrary to my belief you taught me that love has no limits. To go through these emotions and experiences are tough and it makes us stronger.
I've never engaged into my feelings the way I do when I'm around you.
Whether I'm angry whether I'm sad frustrated happy
I'm allowed to be me without the fear of judgement or lose of control.

I wrote this letter to my (now hubby) when we hit our one year.

September 15th 2014

THROUGH THICK & THIN.... YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE ONE!!!

In my life I have fought hard, chased & accomplished everything I have ever wanted, the only battle I never figured out was LOVE, to me; was always the most important one.

2009-2010- I had it! At least I thought I did, felt like a fantasy. That year changed me, change the way I think about what I was actually looking for. I thought I knew what I wanted, that was until you came into my life, turned my whole world upside down.
Since April 2009 I have never been the same, touched by the essence of being in Love and from then on, I was never the same!
Life gets in the way... and I couldn't have you, it broke my heart but again, it felt like a fantasy. I was just grateful that I got to experience that feeling of being in love. That feeling became a distant memory, but always apart of my heart!
Now I knew what I wanted but always felt it was a just another fantasy.

March 2013- The moment I realized it was not a fairytale, that you are real & you are you! You haven't changed one bit! “Just Roly” as you say.

Sept 15th 2013- I could not even begin to think of anyone else and we became “US”.

Through it all, I can honestly say you have been my rock! You have been my reason to smile on a daily basis! Even through our rough moments, I still wanted to be next to you and feel you beside me.
I know this is real and not a fantasy!

I can be me! Happy, sad, mad, frustrated, forgetful, even all at the same time, you still smile and look at me with those beautiful eyes and be in “AWE” of me,
You just want me to be happy, no matter what it takes, you just want to see me smile.
Even if i can't figure out my own thoughts, you pick through them with me and help me figure it out!

At the end of any aweful bad day, I only want you. You listen to me when I speak and only force positivity into my life.

Physically, emotionally & mentally, we are so compatible!
In our minds, when we are together.... WE CAN RULE THE WORLD!!

Anything we do together, whether we go for a walk, grocery shop, visit family, everything is better when you are there and all feels the more special.

I am so attracted to you in every level, as you are with me.
We don't stop kissing each other, holding each other, touching each other, sometimes I feel bad for people around us..... LOL... but then I get over it quickly!

I want to share every experience with you, when I look into my future, you are there!
The idea of spending the “rest of my life” with you, never scared me! Being beside you is where I feel the most comfortable.

I listen to music and all I can think of is you... whether it being that it is such a sappy love song, (which everyone knows that's really all I love to listen to) or if its a song that I can picture you being silly with and singing; either way, makes me smile every time!

When something funny happens, I instantly share it with you.
Anything we do together is always better and to me that is companionship, something that is not easily found!

In some moments I feel like we are apart of a movie, how this feeling can not be real.  The way you smile at me, honestly, I feel like we are an epic love story!
You are mine, & for once in my life, I actually feel truly loved, cared for & I am yours! Amazingly comfortable & simple.

I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason.... this year has been hard, emotionally draining, we have made mistakes, but we ALWAYS!, never forget how much we love each other!
I honestly believe there is nothing we can not overcome because in the end.

I AM YOURS & YOU ARE MINE!

There's this instant emotion i can't shake..
that distance between us...
falling apart
can't hold it together
when did this all happen?
Do we share the same values?
can you see the unseen?
when do you realize?
How do you know?
give it time? give it space??
beyond all imagination
i didn't think it could happen
i didn't think anything could break us
they say there is always mountains to climb
makes it stronger...
who wrote that shit? 
in the greater universe... do we realize?
Are we ment to withstand these insane thoughts?
lost without words.... no more words
let it play out
no more control.... out of my hands
whatever happens, happens right?
Fate? Do i still believe in fate?
Will i always believe?
I'm starting to doubt my own thoughts... 
Loose my sense of composer..
near but far.... how is that possible...
you can be there but feel so far away!!

Is it true?
that no matter what.... things just come to an end?
Interesting how life works...
why is it so hard?
why do our minds work in these ways?
play tricks...
The feelings of emotions truly saturated by mysterious doubt
Emotional discomfort
Why is it that our hearts feel emotional discomfort
and our brains tell us that its normal.. it's ok..
The heart fights the mind
The soul gets lost..
Who has figured this out?
What has grasp our attention in ways no others can comprehend?
I'm so lost
I thought I knew, I truly believed..
but we can't fight what our hearts feel,
even though our minds tell us otherwise.
The distraught feeling of an empty heart!

Sometimes you need to just simplify your life... So love strong... Laugh often.... Smile unconsciously....

No matter where u are... What your doing... Remember the three things!!!

You are my rock... 

The one who holds me together

You are my strength

The one who keeps me from falling apart

Life without u... Just wouldn't be complete 

And everyday I wake up beside you

Every day I get to feel your heart up next to mine

Makes me believe that 

Beyond a greater power

We are worth it

We are worth the hardships

We are worth the fight

'I love you' can not even begin to express how much u mean to me....

How obvious does it have to be?

Blocked from the inside out 

Emotions withdrawn 

The feelings of being dissected

Do you ever get to the point where u just wana scream?

Do you ever get to that moment where u just wana punch someone in the face ?

Control yourself 

Your fucked up and u don't even know why?

Why this hatred comes to your heart

That feeling that someone's constantly hurting u

How do you get rid of this 

Why is it so difficult

Why do I have to deal

I'm exhausted from having to think before I speak

I'm exhausted from having that feeling like I should watch my moves before they come out

I'm exhausted from walking on eggshells

I'm exhausted

The mind gets bothered
The heart gets hurt
Words do nothing to scars
Emotions become drama
And everything gets buried 
When does this all stop?
When does the mind become fulfilled?
When does the heart become whole?
How can we pretend things are ok?
When do we believe it's all real
Complications create walls
Experiences create wisdom
The soul suffers
Everything we do achieves something
But until we know the purpose
Nothing makes sense!